I'm Sorry, No I'm Not, Wait...

It's so easy to say you're sorry.Trust me, this is coming from a professional. As a child I had a hard time saying those words. I would refuse. My mother would threaten me with punishments. My response? No response at all. I would sit in silence refusing to offer an apology. I would sit in silence quietly out of the fear that if I spoke, I might accidently let those words slip out. I could not let that happen. There I was in silence because I was that headstrong.

I still am that headstrong. But I like to believe I have more maturity about it. Now I'll say I'm sorry, but have my fingers crossed behind my back. They will never get me. Seriously though, I am confortable with apologizing these days. It doesn't pain me to say "I'm sorry". I almost feel as if I'm too comfortable with it. Like I am so fine with saying it that I say it when I'm not in the wrong, or just to clear the air.

"Did you see that girl in those ridiculous shoes?!"

"I'm sorry."

Maybe it has become my safe word. Tie me with your rope and chains, beat me with your whips. But when it becomes too much I'll scream "sorry". I think that would change the mood just a bit. It would go from kinky to therapy in two seconds flat. It would go from "sit on my face" to "lie on my couch" before I could repeat myself.

What has brought this issue to my attention is the memory issues. OThers have memories of me apologizing to things I do not remember apologizing for. I still think they are lieing, but let us assume for a moment that they are not. Why would I not remember apologizing? How could this slip my mind? Did I really just blurt it out? Did they really just accept it? Are they stupid? I'm sorry.....fuck.

I think I have come to realize I apologize too much these days. This insanity must stop. I think I shall put a limit on how many time I may apologize in a day. I just hope I do not use them all up and then run over a baby.

"You ran over my BABY!!!"

"I know......oops......?"

Now this does not mean you should start questioning if my apologies have been sincere. That is unless one of the following apply:
a) My eyes were rolled in the back of my head.
b) You were naked.
c) Politics were involved.
d) I ran over your baby.
e) You names happens to be Tyler.
f) I commented on your fake Fendi.
g) You previously were my roommate.
If any of the above apply, you might have something to be concerned about.Other than that, I meant it, sort of....

This is why I believe when apologizing, an act should happen as well. When you aplogize, do something kind as if to say "hey, I really mean it". Bake them cookies, wash their care, watch them shower, something, just as to solidify the apology. And plus, if you do some form of action, you are bound to remember the apology. Or atleast that is what I am hoping for.

Now excuse me, I owe an apology the the driver of the public bus I took this morning, which means I need to make a run the the Adult Shop.

Toodles.